4 Ways To Prioritize Rest

"How to do it all!"

"Time management hacks!"

"Get it together."

If you search how to prioritize, the search engine will spit out tips on productivity, planning, and scheduling. For the past...forever, the way I get it all done is to work myself to the bone. Then I look up hacks on how to do even more. And when I've reached my physical and mental limit, I rest. But at that point, it's more like I crash. I think I've got it backwards.

What if I rested so I could give my best self to my people and my work? My whole life, I've felt driven to "earn" rest. The major flaw with that system is the work is never truly complete. Even when I check every box on my to-do list, there is always something else. And on, and on. I'm learning to prioritize true, deep rest. At first, I wanted to make a change so I could be a better person, a better employee, a better wife and mom. But maybe just being a human who needs rest is a good enough reason?

Here are 4 practical ways I've prioritized rest first, so I can get it all done.

Break up with routine.

When I want to implement a new habit, my instinct is to create a routine. I habit stack, which connects a new habit with an established habit. For example, when I needed to start stretching my jaw every day to reverse TMJ, I would do my exercises while my coffee brewed. I would never forget to make coffee, so I never forgot my stretches either.

But rest isn't a habit. It's a state of being. It's fully associating with the present. When I wanted to prioritize rest, I immediately created a to-do list. (It's me. Hi. I'm the problem it's me.) Not only was exhaustion making me anxious, but my failure to perfectly follow my new "Rest Routine" also made me feel all kinds of frustration. Now I have a loose idea of my wind-down bedtime routine, but I don't track it. My day isn't a test. It's not a pass/fail situation. I just want to live it.

Leave margin for rest.

It's possible I wasn't resting because I truly didn't have the time. My culture is chronically overscheduled. We scheduled work, home management, families, activities, even hobbies down to the minute. Juggling all these major priorities from before dawn and long past dusk literally takes every waking moment. I hear people say they "carve out time," and now I know the carving really is cutting through the routines and commitments to find margin for basic needs like rest. Have you ever tried to fill a jar with gravel and then stones? There isn't enough room. But if you place the larger rocks inside first, then shake the gravel in, the smaller pieces will settle down into a space that fits. I really think time management is like that. What are your stones? What big pieces are left out of your jar because you've filled your days with gravel? I left rest out of my jar for years.

Create an environment for rest.

I thrive in calm environments. More accurately, I wilt in chaos. True rest comes easier for me when I'm in a space that's quiet, literally and figuratively. This has caused a lot of angst over disorganization and busy-ness in the past. I'm passionate about my home being a haven, and that means identifying what embodies "haven" for me and my people. Remember the airplane safety spiel about putting your own oxygen mask on before helping your neighbor? You can't help others if you can't breathe. I put my oxygen mask on first by placing the upkeep of my personal spaces at the top of my to-dos. If my home, car, office, etc are neat, then I can relax more completely and quickly.

Do the work of rest.

I'm still learning what true rest looks like. It's unique for everyone and every season. For me, true rest looks like feeding my mind through learning or reading, spending unstructured time with friends and family, or doing something that's both creative and meditative like cooking or painting. It took some practice to find what helps me rest in the present, instead of zoning out. To be frank, screens steal true rest and replace it with the imposter of disassociation. It's been a labor of love to myself to learn what rest means to me. I hope you discover what rest means to your soul, too.